Could it be obssesive compulsive in severe form?
February 26th, 2010 | 
Author: 
ehgp99 asked:
Now im really depressed..i am 15 years old.. i have episodes of numbness and depression that last at least 2 hours and the longest ones i had were 6 hours but after those episodes im fine and i can be friendly and nice… i have tried several things to diminish that depression.. i have tried alcohol, wrist cutting (most common) and also watchin pornography. i think it got triggered when i liked this girl just two weeks ago on one of my summer courses, she was a spanish girl, she looked american but she spoke Spanish and I speak Spanish btw, the moment i saw her eyes and smile, i just fell in love, we started talking and we seem to have alot in common i used to walk her to her house since she doesnt like to walk alone.. she was nice to me and everything. also when i started to like her i started to become a better person.my depression stopped and the bad habits i had also stopped.. but there was a problem. she had to leave in two weeks. I tried to tell her how I felt but I was just too shy cuz of rejection
since I experienced rejection b4,, so many times that I just became too shy to tell her how i felt… everytime she was with me i would never cry, i would never get numb or be sad.. and when she left.. just the second she left i started to feel numb again.. the bad habits came back.. and i got worse.. i started cutting and holding back tears… i just couldnt cry when i wanted to.. and the episodes got really common once or twice a day but with gaps in the middle of normalness… and i really started to miss her and i usually wait for her to get online at 4 am.. since 4 6 hours cuz of spain.. i just never gave up.. i think my problem is taht i just never forget and i love too much and I “fall in love” for lust and the person which ***** cuz either way I will “fall in love” I just get attached too much.. i never had a gf.. i had been rejected b4 many times being called ugly and hideous and that idea got stuck in my head and I keep putting myself down by calling myself ugly and that I will never find a girl.. and that I will die alone..
that’s how my self steem kept going down
even one time a girl said. “id rather kill myself to go out with him” and that hurt..so yeah that convinced me that I would never find love and that love is just sumtin that I would never be able to feel.. and usually I never talked to the girls I liked because I would get all shy and scared of the same reality that they would reject me… this happened to me since kindergarden first time I noticed girls…should i get help? and i usually think about what if the Spanish girl has a bf and get really sad… i have had thoughts of ******* and also thoughts of cutting deep and bleeding to death and drinking alot..and also thoughts of running away and seeing her again.. and no i dont think shes coming back but I still have hope to see her again and I know that god had a reason to make our paths in life cross, I just gotta find out y…
smart and honest answers please..
Any other ideas on what other diseases it could be?
Learn Spanish Lessons
Now im really depressed..i am 15 years old.. i have episodes of numbness and depression that last at least 2 hours and the longest ones i had were 6 hours but after those episodes im fine and i can be friendly and nice… i have tried several things to diminish that depression.. i have tried alcohol, wrist cutting (most common) and also watchin pornography. i think it got triggered when i liked this girl just two weeks ago on one of my summer courses, she was a spanish girl, she looked american but she spoke Spanish and I speak Spanish btw, the moment i saw her eyes and smile, i just fell in love, we started talking and we seem to have alot in common i used to walk her to her house since she doesnt like to walk alone.. she was nice to me and everything. also when i started to like her i started to become a better person.my depression stopped and the bad habits i had also stopped.. but there was a problem. she had to leave in two weeks. I tried to tell her how I felt but I was just too shy cuz of rejection
since I experienced rejection b4,, so many times that I just became too shy to tell her how i felt… everytime she was with me i would never cry, i would never get numb or be sad.. and when she left.. just the second she left i started to feel numb again.. the bad habits came back.. and i got worse.. i started cutting and holding back tears… i just couldnt cry when i wanted to.. and the episodes got really common once or twice a day but with gaps in the middle of normalness… and i really started to miss her and i usually wait for her to get online at 4 am.. since 4 6 hours cuz of spain.. i just never gave up.. i think my problem is taht i just never forget and i love too much and I “fall in love” for lust and the person which ***** cuz either way I will “fall in love” I just get attached too much.. i never had a gf.. i had been rejected b4 many times being called ugly and hideous and that idea got stuck in my head and I keep putting myself down by calling myself ugly and that I will never find a girl.. and that I will die alone..
that’s how my self steem kept going down
even one time a girl said. “id rather kill myself to go out with him” and that hurt..so yeah that convinced me that I would never find love and that love is just sumtin that I would never be able to feel.. and usually I never talked to the girls I liked because I would get all shy and scared of the same reality that they would reject me… this happened to me since kindergarden first time I noticed girls…should i get help? and i usually think about what if the Spanish girl has a bf and get really sad… i have had thoughts of ******* and also thoughts of cutting deep and bleeding to death and drinking alot..and also thoughts of running away and seeing her again.. and no i dont think shes coming back but I still have hope to see her again and I know that god had a reason to make our paths in life cross, I just gotta find out y…
smart and honest answers please..
Any other ideas on what other diseases it could be?
Learn Spanish Lessons
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Please go to a professional about this. I really wish you luck. Nothing is serious enough to commit a sin such as taking your own life. If you think about it, that is very selfish when it comes to your loved ones. They will have to go on the rest of their lives wandering what if this and what if that? Do you really want to go out like that when you are so young and have a lifetime to find happiness. You definately need to talk to a professional though. I think you could have deep underlying issues that you are not acknowledgeing. Good luck.